betsy: Day Four

Gavin squatted to look at the desserts behind the glass, but his mind wandered and he stopped really reading their descriptions. His mind drifted to the conversation, to the fight, he had earlier. A woman’s voice broke his wandering: “Can I help you?”

“Yes,” he said, standing up. The woman had surprised him, but he didn’t let it show. “Can I get a vitamin water and a slice of ‘The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back’ cheesecake?”

Gavin stood in the bakery, squinting at the menu on the chalkboard. He desperately wanted to rewrite the menu on the board since the printing was so sloppy, but he wasn’t sure it’d be polite.

“We don’t have vitamin water,” the woman behind the counter replied. There was no excuse to use that tone with him. “We have filtered tap water, that’s free, or smoothies.”

“Do you have strawberries?” Gavin asked, squinting at the menu and rubbing his chin.

“We follow the 100-mile-diet and strawberries are out of season,” the woman replied, mechanically. “Except for chocolate and coffee, where we only use fair-trade products.”

“I’ll just have water, I guess,” Gavin said.

Everything was going wrong today. Gavin picked up a copy of the newspaper (some alternative crap) and took his slice of cheesecake to his table. The cake would ultimately end up on his thighs, but today it didn’t matter. Today was a day for cheesecake.

He scanned the alternative newspaper, checking his watch between periods. He wanted his brain to shut down, but it kept running back to the conversation. Gavin’s fork mutilated the cheesecake, shovelling it quickly into his mouth.

“Is this seat taken?”

“Yes,” Gavin replied. He was saving it for someone.

Gavin looked up as the man leaned on the chair. “I thought maybe you’d want some conversation while you ate the rest of your cheesecake,” the man suggested.

The man was heavy-set, bearded, and wore the ugliest hat Gavin had ever seen. There was clearly dirt under his nails, and a large (somewhat sleazy) smile on his face. He could see the freckles under his thick, blonde, arm hair. He was confident. He was fat. He was hairy. He was Gavin’s type.

Gavin’s eyes narrowed and the man took a step back, but Gavin used one of his long legs to push the chair away from the table. “Fine,” Gavin said, “but I am waiting for someone.”

“Sure,” the man said, sitting down. “I’m Jeff.”

“Gavin,” he said, wishing his newspaper was more interesting so he could look more interested in something other than the man.

Gavin took it as a sign. Here, he’d left the only man that made him happy, just to find another promising encounter. He didn’t need Cabel. He definitely didn’t need Cabel and his family-centric mind and his smoking.

The clerk set down a cup of coffee at Jeff’s spot, and Gavin noticed Jeff’s eyes follow the clerk for a moment before looking back to Gavin. Was he straight? Did he have a fetish for aprons and skirts? Maybe he was picturing Gavin in women’s clothes right now – but no, that was a fetish for girls on the internet. Maybe Jeff pretended to be a girl on the internet.

Maybe Gavin did need Cabel.

“So are you eating this particular cheesecake because you experienced the straw that breaks the camel’s back, or is it because you’re fond of the peanut butter and chocolate combination?” Jeff asked, wrapping his hands around his mug.

Gavin put on a superior, know-it-all tone. “Can it be both?”

“Of course it can,” he replied, laughing. “Did you know that studies have shown when you tell strange men your problems, you almost always feel better afterwards?”

“Is this something to do with the Catholic Church, confessionals and priests?”

Gavin saw Jeff’s teeth in his smile. “Tell me what happened.”

“You know what, I’m meeting someone here to tell her what happened,” Gavin replied. “Right now I’m just trying to forget what happened.”

“Well,” Jeff said, taking a sip of tea, “if you forget what happened, you can’t exactly tell her what happened properly, can you?”

“Tell me about yourself,” Gavin said. “So your name is Jeff Something. What do you do aside from hassle people in alternative bakeries?”

“I rattle bones,” Jeff said, “but mainly the dead ones. And my last name is Grant. Is it a relationship problem? Some man break your heart?”

“Do you want to know what it really is, Jeff?”

“Sure.”

“None of your goddamn business.”

Jeff hid his smile by taking another drink from his mug. “So he left you then, did he?”

“No, I left him,” Gavin snapped.

Jeff relaxed. Gavin stabbed the remainder of the cheesecake and stuffed it in his mouth. He really didn’t want to talk about it, but he was still angry. He wanted to rage about it.

“Fine, you really want to hear about it?” Gavin said.

“Yes,” Jeff said, “I really do.”

“I can’t really remember what started it,” Gavin began.

…

Gavin had just been minding his own business when Cabe confronted him and acted as if he had a bone to pick with him. Cabe was rarely confrontational, but whenever he was like that around Gavin, Gavin took it as a challenge. He wasn’t one to stand down in an argument.

“I don’t get it,” Cabe said. “We should be married by now.”

“I’m not marrying you,” Gavin said, matter-of-factly. “Don’t take it personally, I just don’t want to be married right now.”

“Right, because it makes you feel old,” Cabe said.

“Yes.”

“Well Gavin, we’re not immortal,” he said. “We’re going to get old. You know that body of yours that you flaunt around? Well parts of it are going to sag and wrinkle. Parts that you don’t want to wiggle are going to start to fucking wiggle.”

“Fuck you,” Gavin snapped. “You just want to get married so you can adopt fucking kids.”

“That’s right,” Cabe replied. “I want a family.”

“Did you ever think that maybe I don’t?” Gavin asked. “I don’t want kids.”

“Well then you don’t want me,” Cabe said.

“Maybe I don’t,” Gavin said. “You drink too much and you smoke too much and your friends are all losers with no aspirations or goals.”

“Like working in a fucking hair salon is an aspiration.”

“I have a job,” Gavin said. “I have clients that would follow me if I switched salons. I will never be out of work. I’m sorry if I don’t think being a rock star is a realistic goal.”

“They do have other jobs,” Cabe said.

“Yeah, loitering in our apartment,” Gavin said.

Cabe folded his arms across his chest. “You can’t just insult my friends like that. They’re my friends. I don’t judge your friends, or I wouldn’t if you had any.”

“Well I don’t need anyone.”

“Then you don’t need me,” Cabe replied.

“Maybe I don’t,” Gavin said. “Maybe I’ll just fuck off out of here.”

“Maybe you should,” he replied. “But I don’t think you’d last one day without anyone.”

“Fuck, if you and your friends aren’t crowding up here, you’re out spending weeks at the bar. Some days I don’t even see you because you’re off getting drunk, supporting their shitty bands.”

“You should get out and try to prove me wrong,” Cabe said.

“I will,” Gavin said, stomping towards the door. “And I won’t be back.”

“What about your shit?” Cabe asked.

“I don’t need it,” Gavin said, opening the door. “I don’t need fucking anything!”

And he slammed the door as he stepped out. He forgot his wallet though. Fuck.

Gavin stepped back in. “Except for my fucking wallet,” he said.

He felt Cabe’s green eyes watch him as he stomped through the apartment to grab his apartment. He half-expected Cabe to crack and apologize, but it only made him angrier to think that it could be solved this easily. He left again without a word, and he waited until he was in the elevator to call his sister. He’d need a place to stay.

…

“So she told me to meet her here so I could tell her what happened,” Gavin said. “And she said she’d let me crash at her place.”

“What’s your sister’s name?” Jeff asked.

Gavin worried for a moment that Jeff was straight and interested in his sister. “Tulip,” Gavin said. “She’s my half-sister.”

“Tulip,” Jeff said. “I know Tulip! She’s in here all the time, Georgia adores her.”

“Georgia?” Gavin asked.

Jeff pointed to the clerk who was chatting happily to what appeared to be a stoned, homeless person with dreadlocks. Gavin upturned his nose and simply replied, “Oh.”

He paused a moment before saying, “Yes, Tulip’s great. I love her.”

Jeff nodded, his blue eyes scanning across Gavin’s features. Gavin tried to ignore the fact that he was being checked out. “Well, I’ll leave you to wait for your sister in peace,” Jeff said, checking his watch. “I’ve got to run. But if you need anything,” Jeff wrote down his number on a smudged napkin, “here’s my number. I’d be glad to take you out for a drink or something.”

Gavin stayed straight-faced as Jeff winked at him. “Okay, maybe,” Gavin said. “Thanks.”

Jeff gave a wave to the clerk as he stepped out of the store. Gavin folded the napkin into his pocket. It sure would show Cabel if he already found another guy to screw.

Cabel, on the other hand, was not thinking about vengeance. He was hardly even thinking about anything. He just drank more and rested his head on his arm. It didn’t feel right doing anything else. He was in a bar, he had to drink anyway.

He kept telling himself Gavin would be home when he got home.